This & That

Here goes nuthin'! My first post; such a momentous occasion! I feel so much pressure to make it good. Hmm. Maybe I'll just tell you a few of the things that made me laugh this week. For instance, yesterday I made myself mac 'n' cheese for lunch (if you're adventurous you should try it my way: add white tuna to it. I know it sounds weird but it's delicious.) and while it was cooking I poured myself a glass of pink lemonade to go with it. In my mind I was saving the world so it was a few minutes before I realized I'd actually poured myself a bowl of lemonade. It's hard to drink pink lemonade from a cereal bowl.

Then there was the time I got hit on by a twelve-year-old. Oh, wait, that's like, everyday. Seriously, minors are the only males I get attention from; the first time I ever got asked out to my face (proxy ask-outs just don't even count, man-up, men!) I was seventeen and my my knight-in-shining-training-wheels was thirteen. I said no. Onyhoo, the other day I was teaching a class and one of my students who tries to flirt with me all the time and is actually twelve, came up to me and tried to lean on my shoulder. I was in heels so it was quite a reach and so as not to hurt his wittle pwide I leaned on his shoulder instead. 2.5 seconds later I tried to walk away and he was like, 'No! Come back!' and I was all like 'I don't need a man to lean on!' Thus I saved his pride by calling him a man and also saved myself. Gosh, little boys, calm down!

Speaking of boys and calming down, I physically had to stop myself from chasing one in Wal-mart a few days ago. So I get off work, and I'm real tired, right? It's 10:00 at night but I have no food at my house so I stopped at Wal-mart and I'm walking through the store and notice this adorable guy, but I don't pay much attention cuz he's with a girl (who was completely engrossed in whatever it was he was saying), but! As I was walking past them, like, I'm inches from this guy, ok? And he was was a lot older than twelve, p.s. I suddenly realized that he was speaking in a British accent...and I was all like:




And then I was sad, because I wanted one, and I couldn't have one.

My father really wants to help me change that. He really is my (very flawed) superhero, he wants to help me get anything I want if he can see that it will be beneficial in my life. Well, my mom informed me, when I stopped by for a visit one evening, 'Your dad is making a list of potential husbands for you; I don't think I was supposed to tell you that...' 'Well, who are they?!' I replied with a twinkle of hope and ever so much angst. 'I bet I really wasn't supposed to tell you that...I'll just show you their facebook pictures.' As Mother's story unfolded it came to light that one of these candidates was the son of a local businessman who's establishment I had just been in that morning. He's always very friendly but he had seemed a little more so...'Wait. Did Dad talk to him about it?' Mom: 'He may have sort of, possibly, said something like "I hear your son is single, so is my daughter. We should all have dinner together sometime."' At this I kind of collapsed on the floor in the anguish of embarrassment and had to tell my unsympathetic mother (who laughed at my plight) about how I had gone out in public and into the previously mentioned establishment looking like a homeless person. Always shower and wear something that hasn't been slept in, ladies, you never know when small-town matchmakers will strike.

So those are a few of the things that made me laugh this week, I hope it made you laugh too. :) There was also the time I opened the linen closet and there was a cat there...and the time a co-worker asked me if I was feeling ok and I said 'yeah, I'm fine, it's just my time.' and she just turned and booked it away from me...or the time...

Well, you get the idea; life is crazy, laugh about it.